Friday, August 28, 2009

Breaking News: was it a dime bag or a quarter?


L.A.P.D. investigators say they found two baggies of marijuana in a search of Michael Jackson's bedroom the day after his death. Sources from the department claim members of the Jackson family approached them after supposedly finding a bag of a sticky, brown substance they believed to be black tar heroin. Police obtained a warrant to search the bedroom based upon these claims, however departmental tests of the substance proved it not to be heroin. (Reports never indicated what it was.)


Police say they did find two baggies of marijuana along with insomnia meds, anti-anxiety pill bottles, prescription bleaching cream for persons with vitiligo and a glaucoma medication with an off-label use to stimulate hair growth. Michael suffered permanent hair loss after his third degree burns in his 1984 Pepsi commercial. Jackson settled with PepsiCo for $1 million over that incident; he donated all the money to a children's burn unit.


There are a number of problems with this LAPD report: It really requires suspension of disbelief that members of the Jackson family would go to the LAPD if they found street drugs in Michael's room and beg them to search the room. Couldn't the family members search the room? Allegedly several of them had already torn the room apart looking for money and valuables. Additionally, why would they want the public and the police to know Michael was on street drugs, if this were the case? That would tarnish his image and remove some fraction of culpability from his doctors and handlers. People are far less sympathetic towards abuse of street drugs than they are towards prescription drug addiction. According to CNN, the officer that conducted the search took five days to file his report on the search and took several weeks before he made sworn statements detailing the list of medications he supposedly found.


Secondly, is it possible Michael actually suffered from glaucoma? That would be a logical explanation for the glaucoma medication as well as the marijuana. One of the uses of medical marijuana is treatment of glaucoma. Release of the autopsy results might shed some light on this, although it is possible this condition would be extremely difficult to detect post-mortem and Michael's medical records are spread out among many practitioners in several states and countries.


Even if he did not have glaucoma, it is possible the marjijuana was not his and/or he was using it to gain weight. Stimulation of the appetite is one of the side effects of marijuana exploited to treat cancer patients and others who have difficulty gaining weight on their own. He must not have been using it though because he certainly would not have had any difficulty falling asleep if he were a toker. Personally, I am strangely warmed by the thought of Michael getting the midnight munchies after a 14-16 hour day of rehearsals for his upcoming tour. Purple Haze is certainly preferable to propofol in my book. The only question is, was it a dime bag or a quarter?

7 comments:

  1. LOLOLOL@Mike rolling a fat one!

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  2. THEIR EXCUSE FOR SEARCHING HIS ROOM SOUNDS LIKE BALONEY

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  3. don't matter now anyway

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  4. Definitely a Vick (quarterback)...prolly smoked outta a glittery ass bong. Hee-He. WE LOVE YOU MIKE!!!!!

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  5. Ha! at the bong! I can't imagine Michael rolling one himself anyway.
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  6. I wonder what he sounded like after smoking la? Did he giggle even more? I bet he used to have Bubbles roll all the blunts. Bubbles looked like he could hold his smoke. I'm just saying.

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  7. Isn't Latoya supposed to know black tar heroin when she saw it?

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