Friday, June 26, 2009

Random Thoughts About Michael's Death

michael jackson poster Pictures, Images and Photos
While my logical mind understands how this could happen given his age and health condition, my visceral reaction upon learning of his cardiac arrest was shock and disbelief. I honestly kept hoping it was just another one of tee em zee's fake news stories. Then when CNN and the rest kept saying they wouldn't believe Michael's death until a reputable news source confirmed it I still clung to hope this was some sick internet rumor. We are always hearing false rumors of so-and-so's death which they usually take to the blogs to debunk. Unfortunately, this one turned out to be true.

Whatever the results of the autopsy (and I do not believe the truth is always released in these celebrity autopsies), I will always believe Michael died because he worked himself to death. The stress of trying to earn the money to pay all those debts drove him to push himself too far. He wanted so much to give the fans a good show when he could have just phoned it in. Honestly, most of those fans would have been thrilled just to be in his presence even if he could not dance as vigorously as he did in his youth. Michael was delicate and his body just couldn't take it. He was 50 years old and rehearsing for 6-7 hours per day for 5 to 6 days a week. His body just could not withstand that punishment.

Michael--and I have always felt like I am on a first name basis with him--was the entertainer he was the greatest in my opinion. This man sold out 50 shows. I envied those ticket holders because I have wished for a long time I could have seen that Victory tour or the HIStory tour. Way before London's O2 I loved Thriller, owned it on vinyl, cassette, and later CD and Mp3. I knew every word, every step to the Thriller dance. I can remember people breaking out into mass Thriller dances at parties before people really did the Electric Slide, the Cha Cha Slide, or the Macarena. How many little kids owned a single sequined glove and white socks because of him? How many people, children and adults, secretly practiced their moonwalk to be more like Mike? Thriller still sells over 130,000 copies every year in the United States alone more than 27 years after its release. It is the biggest selling record of all time in the WORLD. It has gone more than 20 times platinum. Let that sink in for a moment.

I owned the Off the Wall and the Thriller posters, but the first one I had, my favorite was the one with the yellow sweater. If you really know Michael, you know the poster I'm talking about. Prince vs. Michael rivalries almost reached the level of the Bloods and Crips in some areas. Some people were serious about their Michael.

I remember being embarassed by all his crotch grabbing in BAD. I remember wondering why he seemed to hate his blackness so much when Black people loved him and I adored him. There was nothing wrong with his nose, his skin, his hair. Michael was idolized by Black girls, white girls, Hispanics, Japanese, Europeans, Africans...everyone loved Michael. People in other countries seemed to exhalt him even more than his fans in the U.S. That scene in Roll Bounce where Sweetness makes X's little sister faint by touching a kiss to her cheek? Michael could do that just by stepping out of a car or belting out a note. I have read countless accounts of teenaged girls fainting from excitement at his appearances.

I remember being horrified at the molestation trials. The mere thought that Michael could have possibly done any of those things he was accused of doing. Why would a grown man want to have play dates and sleep in the bed with children? Why wasn't I invited to the Neverland Ranch? (Come on, a lot of you wondered what the ranch was like.) Honestly, the reports of Jesus Juice shocked me as much as the reports of the sleepovers. I never really thought of Michael as the kind of man who would drink alcohol or kiss a woman. Even though millions of young girls--and, let's face it, young boys--had romantic crushes on Michael, he still remained virginal in the minds of most. I was equally appalled by his supposed "relationships" with Brooke Shields (he said they were just friends), LisaMarie Pressley, Debbie Rowe, and Diana Ross (is she or isn't she "Dirty Diana"?). How could Michael let us down with these strange and most probably fake unions?

I was unbelieving when I heard he had fathered children. I still don't believe he sired them in the age old way, but today I understand for the first time he fathered them nonetheless. In the midst of my own personal grief over his passing, a part of awakened to the realization he has left three fatherless children whom he no doubt loved and identified with very much; I'm certain their bond was an unusually strong one given his childlike demeanor and wide-eyed innocence.

Michael exasperated me with his spendthrift ways, constant legal troubles, and strange preoccupations. The Elephant Man, Webster, the hyperbaric chamber, the plastic surgery, the traditional Arab women's dress, and the unlikely alliances (Nation of Islam, UAE and Bahrain benefactors) tried my patience time and again, but I never gave up on him. And Michael never gave up on us, his fans.

He died trying to give back to the world. His legacy lives on in the performers he inspired. Many of today's big stars modeled themselves on his dancing and singing style. There would be no Chris Brown, Usher, or Justin Timberlake, to name a few, without Michael Jackson. The Jackson 5, great though they were, would be just a footnote in Old School music had it not been for Michael. Janet, who is phenomenally talented in her own right, would not have had such a successful career if her older brother had not paved the way. Michael inspired and touched so many souls the world over, I can't help but think the world is a bit heavier today with all the tears shed by his mourners. My own father, who is as stoic as Brutus ever was, choked up when reminiscing about Michael last night.

Michael, you are loved and you will be missed. For a moment my life paused yesterday, but now it is time to rise up and celebrate his life. I plan on watching his videos, looking at old pictures, and dusting off my old vinyl to sing along with my favorite performer of all time. Join me if you want to:

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

Rest in peace.

---Wild Safari

40 comments:

  1. I had that poster too! That was my favorite one. I even carried a smaller version in my purse everyday. LOL

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  2. I can't stop crying. I am just so sad he had to go this way.

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  3. It is better he didn'thave to suffer. He went out on a high note may he rest in piece.

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  4. I feel like I have lost part of my own heart and sould. I'm just having a hard time today.

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  5. I wasn't even alive when he did most of his music but I know all his songs. How could you not love Michael Jackson?

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  6. You could always pull a honey with a few Michael Jackson songs. Man thats messed up he's gone to soon.

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  7. This is just devastating. I find some comfort in listening to his songs. I am happy the radio stations are finally rediscovering his greatness and playing his songs in tribute.

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  8. He was the greatest dancer. Everyone had to step up their choreography afte Michael brought the heat.

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  9. I miss him so.

    I, like many, was waiting for MJ to make that big comeback, to share with the world some more of the TRUE GREATNESS of talent with which he had been gifted. I knew it was gonna happen--if not tomorrow, or a year from tomorrow, or even 10 years from tomorrow, but indeed it was gonna happen, I thought.

    But God had other plans.

    May he find the rest, peace, fulfillment and happiness that were sorely missing in so much of his life here with us. I <3 you Mike, always.

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  10. May Michael find the peace and happiness in death that alluded him in life.

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  11. I hate that people are already trying to drag his name through the mud and say he was a drug addict and all sorts of things. They say these things when he isn't here to defend himself. Leave Michael alone!

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  12. like aunt gladys knight said this morning....
    "What ever misfortunes Michael had....
    THEY'RE ALL OVER NOW!!!-let's celebrate the positive things he did in his life with his talent"

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  13. I got your purse bitch!June 26, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    Amen. What ever happened in the past needs to stay in the past. Don't forget how many wonderful things Michael did for people all over the world.

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  14. Al Sharpton has been all over TV calling mofos out for abandoning Mike while he was alive then jumping their face in front of a camera now that he's gone. Al you need to start naming names. Shame the 2 faced hypocrites.

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  15. I hope they find that doctor and all those people around him who had him hooked on drugs. This is terrible.

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  16. i'm still crying. the funny thing is that i had never even thought about it until now, but i own all of his cds, i owned the moonwalker tape, plus another documentary about his life. some of his inspirational songs got me thru the worst moments of my life. when my cousin passd away i listened to "off the wall" for weeks on end. his music helped me thru the hardest time in my life when she passed. it was a welcome distraction from the pain i was feeling. i hadn't even thought about it but even the password to my email address is based on something mj. i'm in shock. this is so surreal.

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  17. It is surreal how many people are tuned into the same wavelength. This is like when Princess Diana died only bigger.

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  18. that's right,
    CNN.com has a story entitled:

    "Jackson dies, almost takes internet with him...."

    so here we are-take whatever good MJ did for you, grieve, then pay the goodness forward....

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  19. I have been watching his videos all day. I don't know what else to do. I oculdn't get any work done today so I'm at home. I just can't accept it. I can't.

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  20. @WMS
    I CONCUR 1,000,000% Bruh !!!!!
    ;-)

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  21. SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS MICHAEL. RIP

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  22. Michael was the only idol I have ever had. He was the only celebrity crush. The only one. To this day I secretly fantasized about being his wife and being the one to help him grow up, lol.

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  23. So Michael is human after all. I guess I thought he would live forever. Stars need to realize you can't push yourself to the limit forever and keep on going with various drugs. The body can only take so much. I just wish something could have been done to keep him here with us.

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  24. i have to get my collection back up. someone stole my cds a few years ago. i need to listen to michael this weekend.

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  25. Thanks for stopping by my blog backrowdmv.blogspot.com. I actually have been coming to your site every day for the past month or so. I appreciate you stopping by. Stay up.

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  26. NOBODY ELSE COULD MAKE SILVER AND GOLD MIXED TOGETHER, WHITE SOCKS, AND BOW TIES LOOK COOL. MICHAEL HAD CATS WEARING PINK AND CLOTHES WITH ZIPPERS ALL OVER THEM.

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  27. I wonder if Ola Raye feels sorry for hounding him now. If it wasn't for him no one would ever know her name. (She was fine.)

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  28. Really if you look at it so many people copied him: Usher JT Hammer Chris Brown. CBreezy is the only one who really admits it. Even Aaliyah Ciara and Janet.

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  29. My heart is so hurt! Michael was so pure. He didn't deserve all the vile accusations hurled at him. He was innocent. People around him took advantage of him over and over. He was abused in childhood and his lawyers and business partners and hangers on continued to abuse poor poor Michael. You will always be the King Michael!

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  30. As an extremely talented pop star. He had his challenges--as we all do, but he was a LEGEND. God bless his family!

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  31. At least his family will be taken care of financially.

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  32. I hope Michael's troubled soul finds peace in heaven.

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  33. Yesterday the world lost one the of the greatest entertainers of our time. there will never be another michael jackson!!!!!! rip michael... my deepest sympathy to your family

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  34. krazy ass malikaJune 26, 2009 at 7:42 PM

    lord forgive me for saying this, but am i the only one thinking that once the dust settles, his brothers are going to fight tooth and nail for the scraps of his fortune once his debts are paid down?

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  35. I still cannot accept the fact that he is gone. I just can't. My mom found out at the supermarket and immediately returned home to see about me. She already knew I was crying and just told me I will be alright and to dry my tears. I can't now, but I will. Mike was the best by far and to say he is gone is unfathomable. May he finally be at peace.


    I will remember Michael. I will

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  36. prettyyoungthingJune 27, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    I will too. Michael was the greatest. He was with me every step of the way throughout my life. I am still crying. I know I'll stop. I'll pull myself together for work on monday but the weekend belongs to Michael. He deserves this.

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  37. Michael was the best. Everyone else pales in comparison. Everyone! I don't know if I even want to watch that BET tribute tomorrow.

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  38. I am still in mourning. This man was like family to me and to so many people. It doesn't seem real. I can't except it.

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  39. I am going to be watching the BET tribute. they better not fuck it up. they love to fuck up something good so they better get this right. I'm mad ad who they chose. Justing Timberlake humiliated Janet and led to her career downfall and Beyonce has been talking slick about Janet and Joe. She needs her ass pads kicked.

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  40. as a kid one of my favorite cassette tapes(yes i said cassette tapes) to listen to was a mixed tape my dad made me of songs off my cousins Thriller album. I played that tape until it got warped. I believe i still have it floating around some where. I also tried to moon walk and yeah i managed to find a white glove in my house and i too wore it to be like mike. He will be missed very much, but his music will live on forever.
    R.I.P. MJ

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